London’s Evening Standard have really put the cat amongst the pigeons by revealing the newest of social trends ‘the New Quaker’. The reporter, who appears to have no idea that real live Quakers still exist, harks back to George Fox who apparently believed that “all decisions – particularly concerning their wallet – should be made with a good conscience”. Did George Fox even have a wallet, I wonder?

We are told that New Quaker money is worth £8.75 billion. New Quaker pin-ups include Gwyneth Paltrow, Sienna Miller and, possibly nudging him one uncomfortable step closer to our hearts, David Cameron. Helen Kirwan-Taylor touches on a dilemma in all our lives when she writes: “Unlike their Puritan forebears, New Quakers no longer consider it a sin to be rich. Sometimes it seems impossible to avoid that world-destroying jet, or the one-off designer heels or diamond engagement ring – and the New Quakers have been known to succumb”. (would anyone like to join me in picking that sentence apart?)

The marvellous Dos and Don’ts for being a New Quaker include ‘Don’t preach – the original Quakers didn’t believe in it and neither should you” (there they go again with that nasty implication of an extinct race). “Don’t use Brazilian woods and two-foot thick slabs of Carrarra marble when rebuilding your house. What’s wrong with cement?” Well, er, here’s just one example plucked from Google if you’re really interested.

I can’t wait to hear how real Quakers respond to this use of their name and hear at least one stiff letter is already winging its way to the editors' desk. In a way, this is a recognition of an honourable trend: there is no doubt that far more people are now thinking more about what they buy and where it comes from. And one of the ‘Are you a New Quaker’ quiz question tries to flatter - “Quakerism makes you think of: (a) simplicity and decency” (right answer) But trendy and sexy? I’m just not at all sure our Friends are going to like it... comments anybody?