Depend on it: Roger Babington Hill’s Thought for the Week

‘Hope is more than wishful thinking.’

Our friend joined us for lunch at Christmas. She is in her late thirties, sociable, a welcome guest. She has a disease for which there is no cure. Her symptoms are predominately physical: walking, eating and drinking are all difficult. Writing and doing other delicate tasks is challenging, erratic and often unsuccessful. An overwhelming tiredness strikes her several times a day, and then she has no alternative but to rest and sleep for a while. Notwithstanding her several talents, there is no possibility for her to find or to hold gainful work or to make a contribution to society, paid or unpaid. Treatment alleviates some of the symptoms.

These are the physical symptoms, but what about the mind, the emotions? What about hope? She is too intelligent to be fobbed off with false hope, so what can she hope for when fate has dealt her such a cruel hand?

Similar situations, different in detail, confront thousands of ill people every day. For our friend, a non-believer, in her great discontent, what value can there be in a hope projected to an unknown future life?

In a faith like Daoism, ‘hope’ hardly features. The character for ‘hope’ in a dictionary of classical Chinese is only a very minor entry in a large section devoted to aspects of time. For Buddhists too, the negative side of ‘hope’ has elements of self-delusion, craving and attachment. It can be seen as an attempt to sidestep the inevitable, to avoid facing the inexorable process of what is preordained.

But hope in Buddhism has a positive side. It is a feature of that essential quality of mind which is prepared to face life’s challenges, the suffering which is at the root of the teaching of the four noble truths. Hope is like a watercolour wash over the mind, predisposing it to optimism. Hope is necessarily matched by activity. Without that it is empty. But what could this activity be for those whose lives are tightly restrained by physical, psychological or social suffering?

An important first step is to face the suffering and to enquire honestly about the underlying cause of it. For some of it, we ourselves are responsible, it is the outcome of our unskillful living. With care and help this can be examined, reworked and often mitigated. But for much else, such as a terminal illness or the effects of war and other major social disasters, the cause seems to be far distant and outside our control. Here, hope needs to be refocused onto an acceptance of the reality of the situation, and then enriched with joy and gratitude. This we can share with our friends, neighbours and carers. Hope is more than wishful thinking, it brings a positive legacy for ourselves and for others.

I visit a ninety-year-old friend who is now living in a care home. The visits are always a pleasure because, despite the many constraints on his life, he is so positive, so generous in expressing gratitude for all the good things he has received in his life.  Hope for him is expressed as gratitude, and he shares this with everyone he meets.

When we Friends mutter ‘Hope so’ I wonder exactly what we mean by this. Are we truly dependent on the Divine?

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Comments

Thank you so much for this Roger. A gift to read in these challenging times about a wash of water colour over the mind allows us to see with gratitude and openness.
Deeply appreciative of you sharing your knowledge about hope being only a small entry in the classical Chinese dictionary devoted to aspects of time.
Wonderful!
Dana

By bigbooks1963@gmail.com on 1st May 2025 - 9:45

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Edit above:

which allows us to see… with gratitude and openness

By bigbooks1963@gmail.com on 1st May 2025 - 9:49

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