Letters - 30 January 2026
From an act of creation to opportunities to act
An act of creation
After reading our Friend Robin Waterston’s recent call for the sharing of knowledge (Letters, 9 January), I found myself wondering what knowledge I might have to share on the topic of gender, and, in turn, to what sharing from others I am able to keep myself open.
What new information could possibly convince me that I am wrong about my gender?
I’m afraid that there isn’t any, because, to me, gender is like faith. I am non-binary in the same way that I am a Friend – on a level that is beyond objective evidence. Just as there is no blood test for Quakerism, I don’t think there’s any medical test that can truthfully show you what my gender is.
If I behave towards others in a violent or hateful way, then I should like to be challenged, as those are not the actions of someone who believes as I say I do.
The same sort of challenge to my gender, however, would diminish both femininity and masculinity in a way that rolls back decades, perhaps centuries, of progress towards gender equality. You saw me wearing a skirt to Meeting for Worship once, therefore I must be a woman? Is womanhood genuinely so small or manhood so easily negated?
Truly, the only thing I wish for Friends to consider is the sentiment offered by Akiva ben Joseph, who was a leading contributor to the Mishnah, as interpreted by Julian K Jarboe: ‘God blessed me by making me transsexual for the same reason God made wheat but not bread and fruit but not wine, so that humanity might share in the act of creation.’
Ell Conner-Maling
To a tea
I have been so grateful to the Friend of late for presenting a balanced dialogue on so many issues and upholding the spiritual dimension on which we are founded. At times of great change and upheaval in Quaker structures, this is so important.
We are in large part how we relate to others.
Imagine my shock therefore on reading that someone, during the visit of the police to Westminster Meeting House, felt pride in not offering the police a cup of tea when they made one for themself; they felt that small act was offering resistance!
When the Campbells arrived at the MacDonald home on a very cold winter snowfell, they were fed and given dry clothes. Hospitality. The horror at what happened next is remembered for centuries, not because they murdered their hosts and drove them out to die in the snow, but because they violated and rebuffed the hospitality they had received.
What does it mean to see that of God in everyone? What is nonviolent action?
Margaret Roy
Finding a way
Since Vladimir Putin’s invasion of Ukraine I have been filled with horror. My horror increased with the Israeli/Gaza conflict and it continues to increase with the events in Iran. Horror and helplessness prevail, as the world looks on. Hand-wringing does no good.
In my younger years, I, and others who felt threatened by the development and use of weapons of mass destruction, felt less threatened due to the ‘trip-wire’ position governments adopted whereby the use of such weapons by one side against another would result in mutual destruction of both. But war is waged differently now, rarely a ‘front’ of combatants with one side against another. Now, civilians are also targets. That’s Ukrainians, Gazans, Israelis and now, Iranians. It could be us.
I watched a Gazan mother’s video as she walked outside and above her hovered a drone. She could not know whether she was the target or whether it was targeted on someone she might come close to or brush past. She could not allow her children to play outside because of the risk.
In the past we relied on diplomacy. It is now obvious that diplomacy is lost on narcissists and megalomaniacs. We need to find a new way Friends, as clearly reason does not prevail. As I rack my brains, three options occur to me.
One: embargo. This would mean the abrupt cessation of all trade with the errant country. I am imagining a ‘bell jar’ descending over that country, with the exception of medical supplies as sick people should not have to suffer as a result. There would be predictable howls of displeasure from our businesses and the money markets but so be it. We have to be prepared to suffer our problems in order to ostracise that nation.
Two: a travel ban. We could impose a travel ban into Britain on countries using an excessive and prolonged use of force, and ask every other country to join us in an attempt to reach the more reasonable population who abhor the actions of their government. There would be exceptions but imagine people from the US finding their only European choice for a holiday was Hungary!
Three: stay safe at home. As we watch the Iranians fight for their freedom, and sacrifice their lives for democracy, only to be shot in cold blood, I feel there has to be another way. They could covertly signal a date and stockpile water, food and medication, and at a given signal, stay home. Only the essential water, electricity and medical workers would continue to work. Everyone would stay home and ensure the elderly and sick were looked after. Normal life would be suspended. There would be reprisals but there are now. Expediency might bring about regime change as the economy of that country crumbled.
I believe in the Light/Love within all of us. I believe we can find a way – we have to find a way – to deal with the evils we face and the evils our families could face in the future. The only problem I can foresee is, ‘How do we persuade our government to act?’
Barbara Harris
Testament narratives
Contrasting a violent Old Testament God with a loving New Testament God is a distancing mechanism employed by Christians to avoid confronting the difficult questions raised by the biblical text.
The violence came first, and there followed attempts, often generations later, to make sense of it – just as today we try to make sense of the violence in, say, Gaza,
The prophets did not produce neat explanations, although they are often summarised as if they did. They asserted that God was in charge, despite all appearances. This forced them to make God responsible for the suffering and devastation. The alternative would have been to concede that their God was impotent; that Assyria’s, or Babylon’s gods were stronger.
Victims of violence have a need for explanation. To resume life, they need to know ‘Why did this happen to us? Who is to blame?’
The Book of Jeremiah is a prime example, a quest for meaning in the wake of the cataclysm wrought on the people of Judah by the Babylonian invasions of the sixth century. What we have is the anguished words preserved by a defeated and exiled nation.
The biblical narratives were often produced centuries after the events they purport to describe. We are not talking about people who annihilated their enemies, but about people who fantasised that their ancestors had done so.
Roy Payne
Opportunities to act
In Response to Steve Day (‘Rallying call’, 9 January), I can only say: if you build it, they will come. Or maybe not. Quaker response to action, direct or otherwise, is pitifully small. We attend many events and sometimes we number in the hundreds; obviously Friends have better things to do than build world peace, halt the climate disaster, or oppose a genocide.
While we are awaiting the national march, we have opportunities on 31 January: in London to support the Palestinian people at noon; and at the NEC in Birmingham to oppose the arms trade (also a picket on 3 and 4 February). All completely legal and great fun.
Unless it’s not your way, in which case I remind you of Desmond Tutu, who said: ‘If you stay neutral in the situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.’
Phil Laurie
Comments
Quakers will be witnessing at the National March in London on Saturday 31st Jan.
Meet at the Ghandi Statue in Tavistoc Square for Meeting for Worship, meet at the Cabmans Shelter to join the March at 12.45.
All most welcome.
By Phil Laurie on 29th January 2026 - 17:35
I should add its the National Palestine Support March
By Phil Laurie on 29th January 2026 - 17:36
If I was to have a conversation with you, Ell, I would really appreciate hearing of your experiences as a non-binary person. I could learn a great deal.
And I wonder if you might be interested in learning of some research into the bigger picture? For example, have you come across the book “Time to Think” by Hannah Barnes? She researched the reasons why the Tavistock GIDS clinic had to close. It’s very readable, and discusses crucially important questions about how to support young people distressed with their bodies. Another source of valuable information is the Cass Review. This is a comprehensive report into how NHS England provided gender services to children and young people.
There are so many aspects of all this that are insufficiently understood. For example, why has there been such a rapid increase in the number of teenage girls declaring themselves to be trans? I think it is important for us to be able to step outside our personal life-journeys to reflect on far-reaching changes in society.
My personal concern about this, and I use the word in the Quaker sense, stems from my deep apprehension that impressionable and perhaps vulnerable young people are being subjected to influences (through social media) that as adults we may be unaware of. And that these can lead them too quickly to believe that, for example, making irreversible changes to their bodies will lead them to happiness. I believe that we need to have listening conversations about these matters, and to be open to illumination from both personal experiences and evidence from outside.
Robin Waterston
By Robin Waterston on 30th January 2026 - 9:21
What did Desmond Tutu have to say about choosing others’ leading for them, then applying emotional pressure to try to force them to comply? What does our tradition say about that?
The problem with so many events claiming to “build world peace” is that we can end up alongside folks who’s idea of “peace” is that liberal democracies must be passive, lest their violence be seen as “oppression”, while the very great violence of deliberately oppressive, energetically misogynist, murderously homophobic groups is given a pass because that violence can be framed as “struggle” or “liberation”. The problem with so many events aimed at halting the climate disaster is that they reject rational solutions such as proliferation-proof nuclear power, unable to decide which matters more: renewable energy or pretty views (over upland landscapes which have surpisingly little natural in them anyway). The problem with so many events aimed at opposing one particular contested genocide is that they both let so many other clear and deliberate ones slide by while providing encouragement for those who’d perpetrate another, given the chance, according to their own stated aims. Which brings us full circle to giving a pass to very great violence of deliberately oppressive, energetically misogynist, murderously homophobic groups.
No, thank you.
By Keith Braithwaite on 3rd February 2026 - 9:31
Robin Waterston could indeed learn a great deal from Eli, but I doubt he would. He has not learned from all the other trans people he has met, or could have read.
He tells Eli to read Hannah Barnes, whose false belief that GIDS should close was shared by many cis anti-trans campaigners, and indeed GIDS did close. But, Robin has not read Dr Natacha Kennedy’s research about the great harm done to trans children by the ideologically-based refusal of trans recognition and treatment. Here it is:
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/09589236.2025.2521699#abstract
Read, Robin. And if you really can learn anything which does not conform to your own prejudices, hang your head in shame and stop persecuting trans people.
Abigail Maxwell
By katemackrell@mac.com on 6th February 2026 - 7:32
If it’s not too late, Robin might also be interested in this report.
https://goodlawproject.org/new-data-shows-surge-in-trans-kids-suicides-following-healthcare-rollbacks/
The ending of GIDS that he so thoughtlessly celebrates has resulted in a surge in deaths. Will Robin continue to plug Barnes’ book? Will The Friend continue to let him?
By katemackrell@mac.com on 7th February 2026 - 21:57
Please login to add a comment
