Sheila Hancock does not mince her words. This much was clear from the moment she opened her mouth and told the capacity audience in the new Quaker Centre that she had a wet bottom from getting caught in the October rain. And this was not just an ice-breaker, although it succeeded as such too; her dialogue with Geoffrey Durham, about her life, career, writings and experiences of Quakerism – she has been involved with the Society of Friends for twenty years – was peppered throughout with plain speaking and simple truths.
On going back to the stage immediately following bereavement, where some actors may have gushed about the healing power of art or some such, Sheila simply said ‘pretending to be someone else is great when you’re not enjoying being yourself’. On the benefits of confronting one’s feelings, she came up with the perfectly constructed aphorism ‘grief expands your emotional muscles.’

I loathe a man in a frock telling me what to do

And on why Quakerism appealed to her where the Catholicism in which she’d been raised had not, she said, ‘I loathe a man in a frock telling me what to do’. That last statement provoked uproarious laughter and slightly embarrassed looks of recognition among Quakers in the audience: she was saying what a lot of people felt but many were perhaps too meek and concerned about causing offence to stand up and say very often.

And Sheila herself was willing to upbraid Friends on this meekness. She talked of always thrusting copies of Advices & queries in the hands of friends – ‘particularly when they are in times of need!’ – and her feelings that Quaker values of simplicity and honesty should be more actively promoted in the public eye. She agreed with the Quaker dislike of evangelism, but, she said: ‘like introducing children to Shakespeare and classical music, they should at least get the chance to find out what it’s about before they dismiss it.’

A great deal of the talk covered her very recent life and we saw a woman with an undimmed love of learning and ‘almost masochistic working-class work ethic’. From working with street kids and students to a newly-discovered love of both poetry and the people and culture of Germany; from starring nightly in the riotous Sister Act in the West End to ‘making sure I do “speak truth to power” – which gets me into a lot of trouble’, Sheila talked of how Quaker principles informed and inspired every single part of her life.

A warm reception and eager questions from the audience showed her blend of irreverent straight-talking with utmost seriousness about the ‘wise way of life’ that Quakerism offers had resonated with everyone there. And from the hubbub of conversations and laughter as people queued up for the book signing at the end, it seemed many came away inspired to be less meek in how they represented their faith in future too.
Sheila is the author of The Two of Us and Just Me.

Comments

• Posted by moped on May 13, 2010

  While I admire honesty, I feel it is rather sad that priests are shown such a lack of respect not only by Sheila Hancock, but by her audience. While many have turned to Quakerism because of the sentiments she honestly shares, the experience of Quakerism should surely be one which allows one to appreciate the roots of Christian faith, and to show other branches of that faith respect and even reverence.

• Posted by jessica everest on October 06, 2010

  As a transgender male to female i am often referred to by bigots, as a man in a frock, had i been in the audience i too would have laughed,
  but inside i would have felt the stabbing pain of failure.
  God is with me all the time as i try through Reading pride and just being out there to change public perception and encourage understanding and diversity.
  and Sheila’s comments apart from that one are inspiring and i have the greatest respect for her and her views.
  i hope i can attend the next talk given by her, and i can wear my best frock.xx

• Posted by GUY JANSSENS on January 21, 2011

  Quote Sheila Hancock,
  ‘I loathe a man in a frock telling me what to do’

  Jesus, , did not take offence at anybody. He tolerated Judas who was a thief and a traitor, although He knew what was in the man. He had relaxed fellowship with him and even in the latest possible moment He still called him ‘friend’. He loved his disciples to the very end. The apostle John wrote: ‘He who loves his brother abides in the light, and there is no offence in him

  Guy,

• Posted by winddancer on June 24, 2011

  Frankness all the way. Not polite, but real. I appreciate this glimpse of a person who lives her talk. Isn’t that what true spirituality is about?
  We are so diverse. Each of us is a gift—if we connect with the core of our selves. I’m glad she could bring her Quaker audience to laughter. I would have liked to be there to meet her.
  Alicia from New Mexico, U.S.A.

• Posted by Kenneth M on January 13, 2012

  Men in Frocks talking latin was my wife’s reason for leaving.
  Fear of hellfire and damnation was my reason for leaving.
  Quaker unconditional love and acceptance was my reason for joining.